Hey Hollywood. How you doing? Still throwing money behind Burnett shows? Still trying to sculpt culture and bolster and normalize an existence where a handful of people—who have reached elevated positions in social hierarchy (that concept itself, social hierarchy, being problematic)—are sensationalized for their acumen and ability to take advantage of their privileged position and invest as little money as possible to own the highest percentage of another person's company or invention being pitched to them rather than, say, sensationalize shared humanity, caring, or helping? Still broadcasting a rich person effectively saying, "You've got a great idea and it would benefit from MY network and contacts but I will only help you if you allow me to buy into your enterprise on terms most favorable to me (because nothing is ever going to be enough to fill this gaping, festering hole I have)?" Still peddling the notion that success not only means the ability to take advantage of the less advantaged and the not yet successful but also that those in advantaged positions should be applauded for such cunning?
Yes? Great. Then you will be interested in this: Thank You for Egoizing. It is a reboot, kind of. I know you like those. Maybe it's more pastiche—Thank You for Smoking, ya know? I don't know. Some marketing or creative artsy-type can figure out the title and detailed comms for launch. Here's the pitch:
I am rereading Le Guin works. Of course, I mention this to give her credit for the inspiration, due to the repeated dropping of the word 'egoize' in one of her novels. She inspired me. She continues to inspire me. From the grave. (That's reach, that is.) Anyhoo... where was I? Oh yeah. Think satire. The story is set on another planet, HalvingWould. A world whose citizens have successfully installed a system of (mostly) self-directed living driven by the value and ethics of service in the name of shared humanity and coexistence (the world is a mashup borrowing from the very best of socialist-libertarian utopian ideals). The citizens of this world begin to be approached by a group of outsiders visiting HalvingWould with opportunities of reward for being selfish shit-puppets for the sake of entertainment—what becomes known in the fictional world as A.R.T., or Arbitrary Rationalization Theory*.
**Bell ringing. Doors sliding.**
This is my floor. I get off here. I need my parking validated, and the receptionist on this floor is an old Frat brother who stamps my parking card free-of-charge. Tell me though, what do you think?
**Shaka sign, but holds thumb to ear and pinky to mouth**
(Whispering) Call me?
Anyway, this is slow pitch, like it says in the blog's title. I've told you that; been upfront about it. I hate the game (baseball too). Slow (and ridiculous) is the only speed I am willing to play it.
* Casual Readers, an IP-related note here, as I have made elsewhere on this site, Arbitrary Rationalization Theory (or A.R.T.) may, in fact, be part of a larger world I have created, perhaps the one populated by Lieutenant Windowpane, and the fraternity known as Lambda Sigma Delta (or LSD) and various military and para-military organizations that use names like H.M. Electrical Banana Brigade and other such strange ridiculousness. If you plagiarize you do so at your own peril.
Slow Pitch, or When You Hate the Game But Must Play It
by Geoffrey Allison || SIXSTRINGcpa
Parodying the movie pitch and Media-Entertainment Complex: a beast arguably as culturally damaging as its sibling-monster, the Military-Industrial Complex.