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DAEDALUS Hot Wings culinary concepts kitchen is a creative agency specializing in collaborative design and advertising specifically crafted to ensure the continued well-being of The Establishment¹. Some of our design work is made available for sale and can literally² be purchased at design-and-print-on-demand marketplaces. In addition, our logo and slogan bumper stickers may be purchased at select vending machines³ located at certain roadside rest stops⁴.
Consume DAEDALUS Hot Wings, because our hot wings are tastier (AND healthier) than their hot takes. And, remember, DAEDALUS Hot Wings culinary concepts kitchen is approved by our very own Mister Wilson. You can trust it's good if Mister Wilson says it's good!™
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Please consume DAEDALUS Hot Wings responsibly.
Click to view more samples
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Click to view more samples
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FOOTNOTES
¹ We'll never admit to working on behalf of The Establishment. You can see why, of course. Right? It's just not as sexy. So we pretend. You pretend. And it's all just a bit of fun, this kicking of sand around the sandbox. Don't pick that up! Mabel, from scheduling, has a cat that frequents here.
² "Literally" in the modern meaning and sense of the word, if you can figure out what the hell that is.
³ Vending machines that let you pay with your phone and shit, because that's cool and I bet, probably, Obama uses his phone to buy things, too. Yeah, cool.
⁴ That is to say roadside rest stops where U.S. infrastructure is expected to hold up and not crumble in the near term. Understand when the infrastructure does crumble blame will be placed on the performances of foreign actors (not those kind) and will have nothing to do with our nation's bipartisan embrace of repeated tax cuts for the wealthy, outsized military spending, and a lack of foresight employed by elected officials due to their tactical blindness created by corporate donations. And we know this because we've already produced commercials—featuring big name celebrities y'all know and love—to convince you of such when the time comes.
⁵ Hard to believe that's an actual testimonial. But it is. Hand to God. We'd never invoke the spirit of Abraham Lincoln to engage in crass opportunism done to enrich or rehabilitate ourselves. 🙏
² "Literally" in the modern meaning and sense of the word, if you can figure out what the hell that is.
³ Vending machines that let you pay with your phone and shit, because that's cool and I bet, probably, Obama uses his phone to buy things, too. Yeah, cool.
⁴ That is to say roadside rest stops where U.S. infrastructure is expected to hold up and not crumble in the near term. Understand when the infrastructure does crumble blame will be placed on the performances of foreign actors (not those kind) and will have nothing to do with our nation's bipartisan embrace of repeated tax cuts for the wealthy, outsized military spending, and a lack of foresight employed by elected officials due to their tactical blindness created by corporate donations. And we know this because we've already produced commercials—featuring big name celebrities y'all know and love—to convince you of such when the time comes.
⁵ Hard to believe that's an actual testimonial. But it is. Hand to God. We'd never invoke the spirit of Abraham Lincoln to engage in crass opportunism done to enrich or rehabilitate ourselves. 🙏